Posts by the real life

12

Who left the Borg in 2007

by WT=watchtrouble in

jw
friends

just curious to see who else left in the same year as me.

and how are things for you now.. it has been 2 1/2 years since i left and damn time has gone fast.

i now have heaps of fun.

I left in 2007. I was just trying to figure that out, in fact, because I wasn't sure how long I'd been out. Since yesterday was Halloween, I counted the Halloweens I could remember where friends of mine had parties, etc., which took me back to 2007.

Life has been really good ever since. Lots of ups and downs, of course, since leaving involves huge life changes. But my goal was to "become who I really am" Nietzsche-style (Embrace life. Become fully human by stretching yourself to become all you were meant to be. Make a difference in the world. It is life affirmation, not stale analysis of it, that gives it meaning.)

I've been able to experience things I always wanted to experience (living abroad, working on my music, learning more about myself and others, finding a career path that works well with my skills and lifestyle, etc.)

I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had and I am excited for anyone who leaves and opens themselves up to all the possibilities that come with really living.

16

Should I Formally Apologize?

by lifelong humanist in

jw
friends

what do you members think - is there any mileage in 'formally' apologizing to my 4 sons (now aged 20 - 34) of my stupid jw indoctrination during their formative years?

i still have pangs of guilt.

yet, on balance, i have to admit that it couldn't have been too damaging as they are all totally out of the cult.

the real life

Don't blame yourself or feel guilty. That doesn't do anyone any good.

I was raised in and I don't have any anger toward my parents about it. They did their best in raising me and they had their reasons for being attracted to the religion at certain times due to very specific circumstances.

If all your kids are out now, you must have managed to raise them well and with good critical thinking skills, which is a huge feat in itself.

If you think apologizing would make you feel better, do it, but I doubt it's something they expect from you - just based on my personal experience.

Best,

TRL

10

What does a congregations 'record' say about it?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

the cong i belonged to was very large...it was the 'popular' hall!

i say that because it was a new building (double-khall), a lot of families went to this hall whether they were in the territory or not - if their relation went there or their 'friends' were in this cong - they came too!

lots of young couples...they drank together, they partied together, they go out clubbing together, and they all had their kids together.

the real life

As if God would take away holy spirit from an entire congregation because of one elder's sin? Sounds like one tricky bastard.

15

Relationships after "The Truth"

by Cthulhu in

jw
friends

i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

the real life

Sorry, friend, but you're coming off as a jerk.

It may just be the way you are wording your frustration. I understand the importance of being able to have meaningful conversations. If you're not finding people who are able to do that, maybe you are looking in the wrong places. I think the best way to meet like-minded people is by getting involved in activities that matter to you - volunteering, taking a class, etc.

If you feel like someone is completely uninteresting or stupid, challenge yourself by trying to draw them out a bit. Try to find what is interesting about them. You can be an intellectual and still appreciate the perspective of people who don't categorize themselves that way. If you get better at believing that there's something unique and interesting in everybody, you still may not find the right person, but maybe you'll at least enjoy your dates.

31

Hi - new kid on th block

by nearlyfree in

jw
friends

i have been looking at this website for about 2 months now and feel i am now ready to say hi and intoduce myself.i dont want to give out too much info at this point in time as i still am in the org, but have only been to 2 meetings since the district convention in august and last time i went out on service was in march.

i was basically raised in the truth as my parents became jw when i was 2. i was married in my late teens and after 21 years of being married to a total control freak he left me (yay).

anyway since me ex left, i had been doing a lot of thinking about being a witness, and i wasnt really going to a lot of meetings - just didnt feel like it.

the real life

Welcome !

I had kind of a similar experience as far as just realizing I didn't want to do it anymore. I went through a divorce situation, and throughout it, both of us stopped going to meetings slowly, I think out partly because we didn't want to face the old friends that thought our marriage and spiritual life was perfect. And after slowing down a bit, I realized I just couldn't ever be sincere about being there again. The research and things came later, but the first reason I left was purely because it didn't correspond to who I really was and wanted to be.

Courage and hugs for your journey out!

29

How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?

by the real life in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if any of you took time to speak openly about being an ex-witness.. sometimes, when it came up naturally, i told some of my friends; in other cases, i felt really uncomfortable talking about it.

in fact, it's a little strange, but i felt more comfortable telling casual friends rather than the people closest to me.

i often felt like it was a huge revelation to make, often to find that people weren't really that shocked.

the real life

One friend of mine said that he always thought witnesses looked really sad, which was why he was never tempted to take any literature. Kind of funny considering that they think they are the happiest people in the world.

And finding my way - I like it that you talk about everything! It keeps things interesting =)

32

No where in the bible does it say that people will be raised from the dead...

by ex-perfectdaughter in

the real life

I was flipping through my old NWT a few weeks ago and I decided to look up all the scriptures listed in Topics for Discussion under 'Earth', 'Life', 'Kingdom', etc. and I found the doctrine about a paradise earth extremely difficult to deduce from the scriptures used to support it. It's a vague possibility at best.

21

Would you go back for the social aspect?

by highdose in

jw
friends

i mean aside from wanting to keep in touch with family who are still in.

would you ever go back just to have the social aspect in your life?

i personaly wouldn't but i'd like to hear from you all about it....

the real life

I have family members who continue to go just for social purposes. I think this is the case with people who feel like the don't have the time or are afraid to make new friends.

Personally, the friendships I've made outside of the org have been much more meaningful to me.

8

Sean Connery

by glenster in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rbtkmcgmvk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgehl3ohvhe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb48xzzsjgs.

the real life

Connerie in French means "a foolish thing" or "stupidity" And when the French talk about Alfred Hitchcock, it sounds like Itch Cock And Vladimir Putin's last name has to be changed in newspapers to Putine because otherwise it would be pronounced like the equivalent of a naughty word (putain) Yep.

29

How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?

by the real life in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if any of you took time to speak openly about being an ex-witness.. sometimes, when it came up naturally, i told some of my friends; in other cases, i felt really uncomfortable talking about it.

in fact, it's a little strange, but i felt more comfortable telling casual friends rather than the people closest to me.

i often felt like it was a huge revelation to make, often to find that people weren't really that shocked.

the real life

I guess my situation might be a little bit unique in that I faded over a period of about a year in my hometown, then spent another year there as a non-witness, and then left the country entirely. So I had very little contact with people that may have known me before. I feel like I started a brand new life and it doesn't seem to have much relevance to my life now - but I am a lot more comfortable talking about it now than I used to be.

Also, I was raised in, so it's not a decision I made that I can explain.